Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
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