I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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