false alarm. still invincible.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Randomize
