do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
