I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
