FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
