i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
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