My hand turned me down
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
