So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
