You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Randomize
