NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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