Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
