OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
