I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
