If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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