He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
