you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Randomize
