I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize