i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
