I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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