She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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