When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Randomize
