what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Randomize