I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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