You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
