so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
