So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize
