My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
