plz talk dirty to me
He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
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