Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
