I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
