So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize