Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
