I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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