Please, let me fuck your mom
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
