Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize