Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
