It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
