why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
