i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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