it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
