When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize