Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Life without a bra equals bliss.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
