turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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