i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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