Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Panties = found
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
