Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
