somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize