i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Randomize
