I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
