You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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