you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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