Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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