We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
