She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
