summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
