We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
