Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
