so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
