just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
